I don’t have an issue with road signs.

The fact that everyone has GPS has not diminished the importance of physical evidence of where you are as you seek where you need to be.

Nothing against sign makers. My favorite is Hall Signs in Fayetteville. Caleb Hall does great work and is patient when I want to make last minute changes. I’ve been guilty of putting up my share of signs announcing upcoming events at the Morgan Cultural Center or Camp Blount.

The traffic experts who make and install signs for public highways do a great job. I’m sure it takes a hunk of taxpayer money to build signs that last for years and are carefully placed for our safety and convenience.

But that reminds me of an irritating phenomenon: thieves who take signs with “interesting” names. Low-life creeps (or inebriated reciprocating saw operators) are constantly stealing the sign for Gingerbread Road which happens to be where our farm is located. Sure, “Gingerbread” is a clever name, but please don’t steal our sign.

I bet the folks who live on Booger Hollow have had their sign swiped. The Honey Road sign also often goes missing. Only one family lives on that road but I’m sure they would prefer their sign stays where it belongs.

I just did a search for Lincoln County road names and quickly found Armdore Highway. I suspect it should say “Ardmore.” Bad spelling is distracting.

My friend, Buford Jennings, recently reminded me of another pet peeve: “Slow Down Signs” in places where they don’t belong. People think that putting up a sign will make people go slower. However, studies have shown that signs posted by private citizens usually don’t work and may be illegal if they are in the right-of-way.

If you think something is needed, check with the folks who know the rules and the best methods to ensure traffic safety, like the Highway Department or traffic enforcement officials. Speaking of another sign I want people to notice is the red and orange triangular sign that is on the rear of farm equipment. It is called a slow-moving vehicle (SMV) sign. Placing an SMV sign on a stationary object is illegal in some states and improper in all states.

When you find yourself driving on the highway behind a tractor that is pulling equipment your first thought is likely, “OMG, I don’t have time to follow this danged slow tractor! Why can’t that @#$%^& farmer drive a little faster?”

For your information, the person who is driving that tractor is probably going as fast as he can and he has just as much right to be on the road as you do. He’s usually not going very far so be patient. Your life may not be important, but we need to keep our farmers alive and well!

My final gripe is campaign signs that sprout prodigiously in hope of influencing your vote. I doubt they make much difference but they clutter our beautiful county’s roadsides. My next vote will be for the candidate who promises that his/ her signs are removed the day after the election.

— Gill, an Elk Valley Times columnist, is also an author. His books can be found on Amazon and other online book websites, as well as in stores in Fayetteville and Petersburg.